another year
another number
damn i feel old.

It has been over a year since i sat down and gave thought about what to put in my blog. I've been dry with words coming out of my mouth. My mind has been drained from all it's veins. Some of my dreams have been shattered while i sleep. And I don't know..i kinda lost the momentum of blogging and writing what i felt. You know when you get lost in the moment and just don't realize stuff anymore. When you lose all emotions and you breakdown into tears or when you think too much and everything goes crazy in your head. Well, that's how i feel now. That's why i stopped blogging for awhile. But now i'm gonna try to start again and gather my thoughts and fix my emotions. As of now i am happy. And i hope to stay that way...

a pictureless frame
an uncovered journal
a dislocated upper lip
a weird jointed finger
a burned eyebrow
a static beer bellie
a nailbitting freak
an undecided dreamer
an artistic pessimist
a sadistic director
a back stabbing retard
an over sleeper

you have always doubted me

Tale of the Stones

two stones joined me in my journey
one was strong but the other was weak
the weak stone crashed and broke
and the strong one stayed with me
we walked and battled side by side
but in the end i walked alone.

did i disappoint you
or make you cry
forbidden thoughts
startle me into remembrance
but only for a moment

i am a dreamer
and when i wake
it's my dreams you take
but dreams will linger
like a dreamer's fairytale
and it will haunt me strangely

i'm dying inside..

this feeling inside is different
should i do it or not
should i risk it or not
should i stop thinking too much
and just move and bounce to the beat.

an apple with no worms
a bunch of kids not high on sweets
a pencil with no eraser
a laptop with no keyboards

a fresh start
a new beginning
a new year

recovering from a battered feeding
stuffing themselves with glorious treats
after that leaving us with nothing but scrap
all i wanna do now is kill the PIGS!

trying to fight the feeling
of bursting out into tears
never have i felt this way
never have i been like this.

will i ever turn back
will i ever doubt myself again
thoughts tend to thicken in my head
awaiting to pour out

time will tell
so help me GOD
in everyday
i pray

i'm too freaking lazy to write
maybe when the moment comes.

then for a moment i procrastinate
in that instance everything is clear
and now i'm rising up from the ashes.

BLACK (Red, Yellow, Orange) Rest in Peace

For 11 long years it has served me
it has been there for me through my troubled days
it was there during all my adventures
it has past through fire and water
it has past through rock and sand
and sometimes heaven and hell too.

It has made me the person i am today
without it i am nothing
it gave me comfort and love
it gave me support and everlasting protection
it gave me everything a man wants
but now i just have to let it go..

So, i bid farewell.

R.I.P "Laguna Shorts"

i'm seeing a different side of me.

Thoughts at 2am..

when you get into a tight place
hang on just for that moment
it's just that place and time
that for once the tide will turn

Day Dreaming once again

i've been sleeping late everyday.
it's like somethings there
but i can't figure it out
it isn't right
trying to get it out of my chest
but i can't
what to do i ask myself.
confused and frustrated i am.

Something to think about.

Why is it so hard to tell the truth? Yet so easy to tell a lie, why do we sleep in the church but when the sermon is over we suddenly wake up? Why is it so hard to talk about God? But so easy to talk about sex? Why are we so bored to look at Christian magazines? but so easy to read a playboy magazine? Why is it so easy to delete a godly offline message yet we forward the nasty ones? Why are churches getting smaller? Yet bars and clubs are growing? Think about it.

watching them from the back seat.
just like a telescope.
searching the sky for an answer.
spotting a bright light.
that never dies.
making a wish.
and asking when dawn will come
for me.

i researched about it.
tried thinking about it.
prayed over it.
but all i could do was blow bubbles.