for many years..
together we face our fears
and i hope this year..
my pride does not get the best of me

Life is but an empty dream

falling apart

i look for an empty space
and hide in darkness
waiting for them to address me
waiting for them to call my name
while i wait i shiver with fear
my heart pumps rapidly
i drown in tears
and i brake out being some else
all i can do is pray.

i wait in tears for the candles to light up
remembering the years
making up for the past
wishing you were here to celebrate with us
even if you can't hear our voices, our laughs
our cheers, and feel our comfort
always remember your presence is still here.

Free the world and let them know it's Christmas

My pride ruins everything.

The young man knows the rules...but the old man knows the exceptions.

"Beauty Fades. Dumb is Forever."

once again i'm losing faith
once again i'm doubting everything
once again i'm facing a wall
hoping that it will pass
and asking myself
when will this story end
are things gonna change
just like the ashes of the past.

my body pauses for a moment
trying to gather all the thoughts
floating in my head
thinking of what to do next
planning my next move
then i inhale death allowing it to calm my emotions down
and for an instance my feelings fade

Above us now the final rays of the sun before
the fall of night were raised to such a height
that we could see the stars on every side.

And so i was drawn from random thought
wandering in mind, I shut my eyes
transforming thought on thought to dream.

I wanna die when the sun rises
7 days a week i think of death
Waiting for my shadow to fade away
And expecting my day to end
When that day comes
The sun will shine to cast away my shadow.

I have learned..

I've learned that no matter
what happens, or how bad it seems today, life
does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a
person by the way he/she handles these three
things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled
Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that regardless of your relationship
with your parents, you'll miss them when they're
gone from your life.

I've learned that making a "living" is not the
same thing as making a "life."

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's
mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you.
But if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others,
your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart,
I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.
People love that human touch - holding hands, a warm hug, or just
a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I've learned to love God once again.

I've learned to love my family and friends more.

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will
forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made
them feel.

From the back of my head

i was about to cry
but my wasted heart didnt allow it
i should have done something
all i did was waste my time
i assume i dont fully understand
and i need to listen
the feeling that lies in me are just thoughts
for now just let me say
without any agenda
always hopeless romantic
to me your perfect
and my dying heart will love you.

Thanks for nothing.
You didnt even bother to apologize.
It kinda hurts but i'll get over it.
I just hope you realize how much i care for you.
And not take me for granted.

I felt death..it was nothing much
I just want to beat myself to sleep tonight
I wanna fly away while the clouds cry
And after that i won"t be alone anymore.....

One wish changes nothing. One decision changes everything

I dreamed of dancing with you.
Holding you tight, looking at you straight in the eye
And tell you "I wish this never ends"
Then i wake...
Thinking of the way you make me high
It just makes the world go round
I hope for love to save me in this twisted life of mine.

Realizing..

After my brother left every responsibility was passed down to me.
And it's hard. it's hard being the eldest.
It's like smoking a broken cigarette. (Figure it out)
The first day on the job i wanted to quit but i told myself "If he can do it, so can I" And also i wanted to prove to my parents that im different from him.
For the past week i've been emotionally drained because of my brother.
I never had a chance to bound with him and try to renovate our problems.
But i really miss him. Life without him is unconventional.
Life for me is a shadow without him.
I realized that Life is Beautiful. Love is insane. Brotherhood is everlasting.

A Bit Longer..

All I wanted was the chance to say
I would like to see you in the morning
Rolling over just to have you there
Would make it easy for a little bit longer
But here
Closer every year
So near
The fear is coming clear
My dear
The fear is here
Getting up this morning
And so all the trees forgot to wake
They were dropping all their leaves
on the ground below them
Make it easy for a little bit longer..