recovering from a battered feeding
stuffing themselves with glorious treats
after that leaving us with nothing but scrap
all i wanna do now is kill the PIGS!

trying to fight the feeling
of bursting out into tears
never have i felt this way
never have i been like this.

will i ever turn back
will i ever doubt myself again
thoughts tend to thicken in my head
awaiting to pour out

time will tell
so help me GOD
in everyday
i pray

i'm too freaking lazy to write
maybe when the moment comes.

then for a moment i procrastinate
in that instance everything is clear
and now i'm rising up from the ashes.

BLACK (Red, Yellow, Orange) Rest in Peace

For 11 long years it has served me
it has been there for me through my troubled days
it was there during all my adventures
it has past through fire and water
it has past through rock and sand
and sometimes heaven and hell too.

It has made me the person i am today
without it i am nothing
it gave me comfort and love
it gave me support and everlasting protection
it gave me everything a man wants
but now i just have to let it go..

So, i bid farewell.

R.I.P "Laguna Shorts"

i'm seeing a different side of me.

Thoughts at 2am..

when you get into a tight place
hang on just for that moment
it's just that place and time
that for once the tide will turn

Day Dreaming once again

i've been sleeping late everyday.
it's like somethings there
but i can't figure it out
it isn't right
trying to get it out of my chest
but i can't
what to do i ask myself.
confused and frustrated i am.

Something to think about.

Why is it so hard to tell the truth? Yet so easy to tell a lie, why do we sleep in the church but when the sermon is over we suddenly wake up? Why is it so hard to talk about God? But so easy to talk about sex? Why are we so bored to look at Christian magazines? but so easy to read a playboy magazine? Why is it so easy to delete a godly offline message yet we forward the nasty ones? Why are churches getting smaller? Yet bars and clubs are growing? Think about it.

watching them from the back seat.
just like a telescope.
searching the sky for an answer.
spotting a bright light.
that never dies.
making a wish.
and asking when dawn will come
for me.

i researched about it.
tried thinking about it.
prayed over it.
but all i could do was blow bubbles.

Trying to learn Japanese...

wa ta shi wa skikkari shita
suku ippai no onaka, hara
oto, hedo minori no nai reito shokuhin
...kora fuko na, mijime na
saru, monki kuchi
BANZAI!

And the translation goes like:

i am steady
i am stoned from vomit
Blah blah blah(i forgot the words)
...from my foot to toe
and a monkey's mouth
VIVA!

i was bored in my 3 hour class.
i was done doing all my laboratory activities.
all i could do was learn Japanese.

everything has to be where they are supposed to be.

waiting for the heat to expire.
when night falls
everything's cool.

strange weather tonight.
the air is thick.
the wind is strong in a different way.
very weird.

everything's gonna be alright.

Pope John Paul II (1920-2005)

Finally at rest after years of crippling disease, Pope John Paul II's body lay in state Sunday, his hands clutching a rosary, his pastoral staff under his arm. Millions prayed and wept at services across the globe, as the Vatican prepared for the ritual-filled funeral and conclave that will choose a successor. Television images gave the public its first view of the pope since his death: lying in the Vatican's frescoed Apostolic Palace, dressed in crimson vestments and a white bishop's miter, his head resting on a stack of gold pillows.

Pope John Paul II, who died yesterday at the age of 84, was an obscure Polish prelate who became the supreme pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church, a statesman who helped bring down Eastern European communism, and a defender of the faith who insisted that the church confront the sins of its past to prepare it for the third millennium.

I humbly ask forgiveness.
May you rest in peace.

once again mediocre

All in my mind..

thunder roars.
drums beat.
as i wake.
walking the earth 24/7.
living life for years.
doing the same routine.
when will i rest.
will i ever see the clouds.

we will all fall down.
we are like dwarves.
stepped on.
teased at.
i take the pain.
i face the fear.

no one knows.
it's all kept in me.
there used to be a time.
when all things were safe.
when life was simple.
when i never had to feel a thing.

i hide in my corner.
away from the light they call santuary.
drum beats.
rain falls.

then the silence breaks

My train of thoughts

im scared of my actions
it might create conflict
i may end up in a battered situation
i'll take the risk again
i'll swallow my saliva
and cross my fingers
and above all pray.

i will supply you the water.

mi ytnewt eno.
gnivil efil ecno niaga
eno erom raey fo gnimaerd
hajulelleah!
gang ahc gang!

i wake to the sound of silence
without any doubt in my head
i walk back to the path i came from
and hoping to never return
and dreaming of tommorow's outcome

i dream of us being together.

i force myself not to fade out
like the rest. I try to stand alone
and step up to the obstacles given.
i am mediocre.
i am lost.

Just heating up

Once again..
i have defeated.
i have gained.
the respect of one individual.

Pistons 113 T'Wolves 95

Hallelujah

after two long years
i have waited for the day
the empire crumbles before my feet
that glorious day has arrived.

just like cats and dogs
clashing into one another
till they reach the ground.

now i know that an empire ages
but it will still stand up
and keep on fighting.

"Pistons 107 T'Wolves 106"

awaiting my master to return
i cater to all his written notes
when the time comes
i will be nothing but a pawn
hidding in the dark corner
serving the dwarves
in the shadows
just like our masters.

Helpless

time is running out

imagining my doubted dreams

valentines comes every year.
and every year it's the old story.
my hopes and dreams perish.
waiting for another year to come.

loosing myself in the midst of depression.
it has been a long time i waited for nothing.
i look up at the sun looking for answers.
trying to unfold the lock in my head.
my eyes burn from the tears.
early visions appear.
then everything starts to fade away.

A 29 year old Dad's Poem

TO MY CHILD

Just for this morning, I am going to
smil e when I
see your face and laugh when I feel like
crying.

Just for this morning, I will let you
choose what
you want to wear, and smile and say how
perfect it is.

Just for this morning, I am going to step
over the
laundry and pick you up and take you to
the park to
play.

Just for this morning, I will leave the
dishes in
the sink, and let you teach me how to put
that puzzle
of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug
the telephone
and keep the computer off, and sit with
you in the
backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell
once, not
even a tiny grumble when you scream and
whine for the
ice cream truck, and I will buy you one
if he comes
by.

Just for this afternoon, I won't worry
about what you
are going to be when you grow up, or
second guess
every decision I have made where you are
concern ed.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you
help me
bake cookies, and I won't stand over you
trying to fix
them.

Just for this afternoon, I will take us
to McDonald's
and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can
have both
toys.

Just for this evening, I will hold you in
my arms
and tell you a story about how you were
born and how
much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let you
splash in the
tub and not get angry.

Just for this evening, I will let you
stay up late
while we sit on the porch and count all
the stars.

Just for this evening, I will snuggle
beside you
for hours, and miss my favourite TV
shows.

Just for this evening when I run my
finger through
your hair as you pray, I will simply be
grateful that
God has given me the greatest gift ever
given.

I will think about the mothers and
fathers who are
searching for their missi ng children, the
mothers and
fathers who are visiting their children's
graves
instead of their bedrooms. The mothers
and
fathers who are in hospital rooms
watching their
children suffer senselessly and screaming
inside that
little body

And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold
you a little
tighter, a little longer. It is then,
that I will
thank God for you, and ask him for
nothing, except one
more day.............

nothing hurts like love.

im worried as hell
im shocked to death
all i can do is hope and pray
that everything will be alright.

should i bring back the past again.
should i take the risk.
thoughts floating in my head
swallowing my saliva like theirs no tomorrow.
wiping my sweat continuously.
im confused. im unbalanced.
im hopeless romantic.

Boredom kills

trying to arrange my fickled mind

i am so misunderstood

Still Fighting by. Ben Folds

everybody knows
it hurts to grow old
and the years go on
and were still fighting

trying to gather the ashes of my past

as the sun starts to set
memories of yesterday fades
a new day is dawning
for a new memory to fold

someone save me

stage of the sandman

dreaming of falling into a subculture
to experience the wonders of a culture

Psychosexual Stages of Personality Development

Trust vs. Mistrust (1-2 years old)
Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt (3 years old)
Initiative vs. Guilt (4-5 years old)
Industry vs. Inferiority (6-11 years old)
Identity vs. Role Confusion (adolescence or 12-18 years old)
Intimacy vs. Isolation (young adulthood)
Generativity vs. Self-absorption and Stagnation (middle-age)